When I was 17 I did what people told me, did what my mother said, let my father scold me…. Now I have got my own I am in control…
I use to utter those words with passion when I was striving to own my own as a teenager… Wanting, as a 5’5, 110 lbs flat-chested female, to be seen as a woman who was in charge of her destiny… And then I got to college and quickly learned the Nursing prayer, simply put “Control the Controllable’s”. I can only control what I am able to control the rest I leave to God. I learned that in a pursuit to save other people’s lives but in actuality it saved mine. I would have been burned out trying to control things that were beyond my control.
Today as an adult I find myself having to remind myself to control the controllable’s… why is that? One would think I learned that and not have to find myself in situations where a reminder is necessary. I think the question is why is control so important? I read in the “Very Wellness” Blog “ (link below) Wanting to be in control is natural. In our minds, control helps provide a sense of comfortable grounding and makes us feel like we have it all figured out”. I can relate. I am more confident and feel like the more I am in control the more I know what I am doing aka when I have it all figured out. However, if I don’t have things figured out aka new business ventures my anxiety and stress kick in. New Business ventures as most things in life are unpredictable. We can think we have it all figured out, check all the proper boxes, and still don’t know whether it will be a success. It’s like Social Media more specific IG. I have a friend who told me about the algorithm to get more views and likes… she even shared the time of day to post, the style of pictures, lighting, etc. As soon as I followed her advice and posted IG changed the algorithm and it didn’t work. I spent time and energy trying to control the views on my social media to not get the outcome I desired… I was trying to control the uncontrollable. You can’t control someone else’s platform that they designed and you utilize.
As I embark on my new business venture Occasionally I get anxious which can lead to self-doubt which can ultimately lead to interference or lack of productivity. I have learned from my teenage years and 20s that fear and self-doubt stems from my desire to control my outcome or how I am perceived. I no longer strive for control of my destiny but now walk in my purpose. I am confident in my abilities and unapologetic if I am perceived as not having all together. I am ready to define my own success and this time I’m going to do it my way.
Photography – Jaxon Photo Group. IG @jaxonphotogroup
MUA- Candice Johnson IG @sweetgloss
Styled by – @ShopElmozene